On doing away with New Year's resolutions

It's that time of year again.  

The one where we promise ourselves that things are going to be different - that by the end of the following 365 days we'll be thinner, fitter, more resilient and more successful while simultaneously being a wonderful parent, partner, daughter and friend.

Has anybody else noticed that the more we want to change, the harsher we are to ourselves when we don't quite manage to achieve those goals - or is that just me?

Halfway through last year, I came across One Word 365.  The concept is simple - scrap the New Year's resolutions, the long list of goals and the almost inevitable self-recriminations.  

And just choose one word.

One word that sums up how you want to be, how you want to live, where you believe your God is leading you this year.  It won't be easy, but it will be simple.  It's about intentionality - living with your chosen word minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.  

And for me, the beauty of it all is that it's not a goal.  You don't have to measure whether you've achieved it, or by how much - you just have to keep choosing to live your word.

So I'm going for it this year.  

And my word is nourishment.

Image by Ellen Leon at www.thesingingtree.com

Nourishment is something that I feel God has been leading me towards for a while. Not just of the body, but of the mind and of the soul.  And that's so much better than diets, or New Year's resolutions, because it's about making choices because they feed you, as a person.

Life isn't about restrictions.  It's about living.

What is Spirituality?

Not that long ago, I did an essay for my Christian discipleship course entitled 'What is Spirituality?' Lots of friends participated and gave some fantastic answers, and I really enjoyed writing the assignment (well, as much as you ever do...) The conclusion I reached was that a vast number of people consider themselves to be 'spiritual, but not religious' - something that was corroborated by the wider research that I did.

I can understand why people identify themselves as such. My personal experience is that some 'organised' religion (for want of a better term) tries to exert far too much control over people. Sometimes this can border on the abusive. There's another blog post in that subject alone, but my point is that many shun the Church because of negative experiences. I think alongside this is the view that the Church is outdated; again, this is an understandable viewpoint. Others feel that the structure in itself is stifling of true spirituality.

First and foremost, I consider myself a Christian. But that's where the similarity between me and a lot of Christians ends. For instance, I believe in evolution. I believe God blesses same-sex, committed relationships. I believe that people of other faiths will go to heaven. I believe that, most of the time, we don't have the faintest idea about what God thinks about things or about how things fit into the context of eternity - and I'm happy with the mystery and the unknowing. I'm sure somewhere a sociologist has come up with a term to describe people like me (and I'm sure there's quite a few that other people could come up with too!) but sometimes I feel like, when I say I'm a Christian, the term needs qualifying.

Recently, I've been reading Finding Sanctuary by Abbot Christopher Jamison. The following quote has got me thinking again about spirituality and where I stand.

"Adding all this together, we end up with the following working definition: in the modern view, true spirituality is psychological well-being combined with the moral golden rule (do unto others and you would have them do unto you). Doctrine, ritual and community life are optional extras."

Hmm.

Whilst I don't consider myself to be fully allied with organised religion, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I literally consider spirituality to only be about psychological well being and good works. I think both are exceptionally important and that any spiritual practice that leads you away from either is not necessarily helpful, but for me spirituality primarily should be about a sense of connection with God. That's something I can't really describe, but for me it is incredibly real and central to spiritual practice.

Lent

This year I've heard a lot of talk about not giving something up for Lent but instead taking up something positive. I like this idea. I think a lot of people have got into it because they think giving something up is somehow trying to earn favour with God, but the reason I'm not so keen on giving something up is because I think it's (personally) often an excuse to try and do some self-improvement exercise that I've been wanting to do anyway, which then makes the whole process more about achievement than true sacrifice. As Sarah's recent diabetes diagnosis has drastically changed our eating/exercise habits anyway, we sat down on Ash Wednesday and made a list of things that we wanted to put into our lives to enrich them spiritually, physically and emotionally.

My top 7 are:

1. Keep a spiritual/prayer journal
2. Learn meditation and relaxation techniques
3. Blog regularly
4. Start a book of my dreams (as in, aspirations, not my surreal unconscious processes!)
5. Practice karate regularly
6. Go for a walk in a pretty place at least once a week
7. Incorporate some of my photographs (the ones I'm most pleased with) into my blog

Rachel Held Evans (I love her!) has recently written a post called 40 Ideas for Lent, about the Lenten disciplines suggested by some of her readers. My favourites are:

• Last year I tried to give away 40 things I don't need for Lent. Each day I went through my closet, through my book & DVD collections etc and picked something I don't need and found someone to give it to. I found it meaningful.

• I fasted from using my debit card last year. It allowed me to become painfully aware of how easily I swipe & waste; and, allowed me to meditate on & act with better stewardship.

Obviously, blogging from the first Sunday in Lent, it's early days, but I've written out my 7 'resolutions' and put them at the front of my diary, to remind me what it is that makes me feel exhilarated and closer to God.  We ticked point (6) this morning by going for a walk in Bradgate Park, and for the sake of ticking point (7) too, here's some photos! :-)