A selection of what passes for humour in our household...!

Me: When we left the house, the dog was all curled up on the sofa like an apostrophe.
OH: Her head was separate from her body!????
Me: No... that's an exclamation mark!

Moral of the story: Never use grammatical similes when telling stories to a person with dyslexia.

**************************************

(OH screaming at computer) - "I'VE NOT GOT TIME FOR THIS I'VE GOT TO GO MAKRO!!!!"

Shame on you, Google Chrome, she's got to go Makro.

**************************************

OH: 'I d-d-d-d-ream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having its motives questioned
Me: Chickens don't stutter!
OH: Yes they do - they can't even walk without stuttering!

**************************************

Me: Shall I put it on the MasterCard?
OH: Yeah, why not, 'cause we all love MasterCard bill day WHEN WE ALL SHIT OURSELVES.

**************************************

OH: Get out the bathroom so I can have a wee
Me: Have a wee then you fetid creature from the bowels of hell
OH: There's another one for the little book of love!!

**************************************

During a play fight OH was winning...

Me: You freaking troll
OH: That's one for the little book of love!
Me: Sorry babe I didn't mean troll, I meant you're a freakishly strong dwarf!!!!

Glad we cleared that up... !!!

**************************************

Calling the cat for his dinner...

Me: Come on, Forrest Gump!

**************************************

When I was writing my psychology essay and OH noticed I was on Facebook... 

OH: So... you're looking for ideas for your psychology essay on Facebook...how teenage of you!!
Me: Whatever!!
OH: I rest my case!!

This week has, so far, been one of much productivity.  You can see at least 2/3 of the conservatory floor and there is evidence to suggest that we'll have found the rest by the end of the weekend.  It hasn't been quite as financially beneficial as when we tidied the lounge and found £8.30 in small change, but this has been outweighed by the discovery that OH owns a Lego chess set :)

We went to our first pastels class this morning and although I was getting utterly frustrated at one point, I'm relatively happy with my finished product (although infinitely aware that it is not a work of heartbreaking genius, by anybody's standards):

BREAKING NEWS:  All the tidying has unearthed a diary from 1960 that was owned by a woman called Marjorie Eatwell.  Her address is local, but her emergency contact address is - I shit you not - where we live now.  I think it's a horcrux.

In other news, we have had to buy Alfie the biggest litter tray in the world because he keeps peeing horizontally (and thus, outside the litter tray).  I have never seen anything quite so large in my life; if we ever struggle to meet the mortgage I think we could probably live in it quite comfortably.

I've spent today at Patchings Art Festival with OH and her aunts (and their friend). It's been an absolutely wonderful day and I've come back feeling rather inspired, even though my artistic ability is debatable!   Always the typical Brits, we ended up having an Eton Mess picnic in the rain at lunchtime!

Here are some of my favourites 'finds':

'The Eye of the Storm' by David Evans

'The Retreat' by Glyn Matthews

'Old Barn' by Graham Cox

'Buttercup' by Sheila Gill

Next week we're going to start a pastels class. Unsure if that'll be my cup of tea but the guy is really friendly so I'm happy to give it a try because I think it'll be fun. We've come home laden with art supplies so I'm looking forward to having a play tomorrow :)

Perfect day ended with a Chinese takeaway - naughty!

The old blog has been deleted and this is its replacement.  Welcome!

Recent events in bullet points:

• Since Alfie returned from the vet a couple of weeks ago, he appears to have adopted a 'whatcha gonna do about it, punk?' attitude which, last night, culminated in him escaping AGAIN.  God knows how, because as far as we can see there are no holes in the fence big enough for him to get through, but by the time OH found him in our neighbour's garden he was caked in an utterly comical amount of mud.  When we got up this morning he was in (almost) pristine condition, but as he's slept most of the day I'll assume it took him most of the night to achieve that!
  
  
• College is finished, which is kind of another motivation to start this blog. It's looking like the next year will be less structured than I'm used to, but there'll be plenty to do!  We're enrolling in a Journey in Faith course in the new academic year, which we're very excited about because it's running in the daytime (thus avoiding babysitter issues) AND it's at Launde Abbey, which is one of our favourite places to be.

There's a big furore today about what the Church of England has to say about the government's proposals to legalise same-sex marriage.  I've attempted to read the whole document but I'll confess to not having managed it because I found it pretty inaccessible.  I hear what they're saying about civil partnerships; that they supported them and that as they address the legal inequalities they don't see the point in pushing for same-sex marriage.  Equally, I understand the Church's point about men and women being different and having different roles.  

But on an emotional level, I still find this to be a stance that I cannot accept, because it still sets gay and lesbian Christians apart from their heterosexual counterparts and allows for committed unions between people of the same sex to be seen as 'second-rate'.

Unsurprisingly, there's been plenty of responses.  As one Guardian reporter pointed out, this statement has been made on behalf of the Church of England as a whole but has not gone before General Synod nor been discussed at a Diocesan level - so how representative is it?