Synchroblog for Sanity

Last week, Sarah and I were invited to meet with some representatives from the Church of England to talk about our experiences of being gay Christians, particularly as we are in a civil partnership.  When the idea of this discussion was first broached with us, we were cautious and keen to know exactly what the agenda would be here – were they going to be trying to shout us down?  We were assured that they simply wanted to sit down with us and hear our stories, and I am delighted to report that that is exactly what happened.  Me, Sarah and another gay Christian friend of ours spent almost two hours telling our stories to these people over coffee and cake (it’s still unclear what percentage of the flapjacks Sarah actually consumed but a conservative estimate would be A High One) and they listened. Actually listened.  And then thanked us for willing to be vulnerable with them.

In the days since, we’ve both said how touched we were by the compassion that these people showed us, and the way that they left us feeling validated as Christians (not that other peoples’ opinions should matter, I know, but still!) Sadly, having a conversation with straight Christians about homosexuality doesn’t usually leave us feeling this way – although there are always exceptions to the rule, peoples’ responses often fall somewhere between mildly disapproving and downright abusive.  I’ve been asked to leave churches, been told that ‘homosexual offenders won’t inherit the kingdom of heaven’ and even had people try to cast the ‘demons of homosexuality’ out of me (which doesn’t seem to have been so effective, at the end of the day) so to actually have people sit down and listen to my story… well, that’s mind-blowing, really.

Those of you who have known me a while will know that I’m involved in an organisation called the Gay Christian Network (in fact, I probably met a fair percentage of you through GCN).  Their executive director, Justin Lee, is releasing a book this week called ‘Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate’.  (For those that are interested, Torn is released on 13th November in the US but will be released in the UK under the title ‘Unconditional’ on 17th January). As part of the publicity for his US book release, he’s asked bloggers to post something calling for a saner, more reasonable dialogue on this issue…

So here it is.

I am well aware that not everyone agrees with me (this is a regrettable truth that I think could possibly be attributed to The Fall, although my wife tells me that this is just Life).  There are plenty of people in my life that hold different views to me, but we remain in relationship because we don’t spend all the time that we’re together trying to change the other person’s mind, and we certainly don’t become abusive to the other person and then tell them that they’re an abomination that God is going to spit out.  It’s not friendly, and it can ruin an otherwise perfectly civilised cup of coffee.  I have no idea whether these people from the Church of England agreed with our point of view, but their approach was loving, respectful and Christ-like.  That is what dialogue about homosexuality should look like.

In the words of one of my closest friends, a Christian who isn’t gay but is perfectly happy (and sometimes hysterical!) in the company of two lesbians:

Never let a point of theology, however strongly you believe it or how deeply it affects your life, get in the way of the love you hold for one another.

Geocaching

I post a lot about Geocaching on Facebook, so I think it's probably about time I explained what the heck it's all about, and set to rest any fears people may have had that Sarah and I have joined some kind of freakish cult...

Geocaching is, (to lift a phrase straight from the website), a free real-world outdoor treasure hunt.  You basically create an account at www.geocaching.com and from then on you can search for 'caches' nearby.  Caches can be as small as the containers you put on a cat's collar (to put your name and address in) or as large as... well... anything you can hide, really, but the largest we've found so far has been a lunchbox approximately 7x5x3".

A beautiful cow we met on our travels!

So, what is the point??!  Well, caches are usually hidden in somewhere of interest or beauty.  Searching for a geocache usually involves going for walks in places you wouldn't usually have gone - there are places in our area that I didn't even know existed until I discovered there was a cache there!  I hate going walking - I think it's the most pointless activity known to man - but with geocaching there's a purpose and therefore I'll be quite happy walking for miles.

Once you find a cache, there'll always be a 'log' in it - a piece of paper where you put the date you found it and sign it with your user name from the website.  If it's a larger cache, then there might also be 'swapables' - small toys/items (like the kind you'd get from a cracker) that are just a bit of fun, really.  If you want to take something, then you also have to leave something (which means that our geocaching bag is full of random bits of tat that we've found whilst tidying the house!)  When you get home, you also log your find on the website, so that the cache owner (and other geocachers) know that it's been recently found - this can be the difference between continuing to search for a cache and giving up and assuming it's been trashed!  If you don't find it, then you still log it on the website because then the cache owner can make sure it's not been 'muggled' (destroyed by non-geocaching folk!)

'Derica', a travel bug we're currently carrying

'Travel bugs' are another thing that can be found in a larger cache.  These are usually coins or army-style dog tags that have a unique number printed on them.  The person who owns the travel bug will have registered it to their geocaching account and will then decide what they want its goal to be.  Other geocachers who come across the travel bugs can take them out of the cache they were found in and move them to other geocaches that are more in the direction of their goal.  Some people just want their travel bug to rack up as many miles as possible, others are racing their friends as to whose travel bug reaches a particular geocache first.

So, it's our new favourite pastime and we thoroughly recommend that you give it a go!  We have discovered that gardening gloves are a must (due to the amount of time you spend delving in hedgerows).  It is also vitally important(!) that you know what a dock leaf looks like (I don't, Sarah does) because certainly in the UK, you'll usually come across some stinging nettles at some point.  Sarah learnt early on that you shouldn't wear shorts and you should always have your trousers tucked into your socks.

Sadly, I've become more of an intermittent blogger than I'd intended to be. Now Little Darling is back at school, that can hopefully be rectified, but today isn't the day!

So for now, here's a photo of me finding an insect on me during our picnic on Sunday...

Sarah's Story

As I lay in bed drifting off to sleep at approximately 10.30pm on Tuesday night (24^th July) I was filled with an overpowering urge to pray.  I had no idea who I was praying for but I knew they needed my prayer right now.  As I prayed, I saw a picture in my head that I did not put there!

I saw a dove, a pure white beautiful dove.  It was trying to escape two hands that held it.  The hands held it gently but firmly, the dove flapped its wings attempting to escape. The dove was not in pain but it was anxious. I did not know who the dove symbolised but I knew it was someone who needed my prayers to help them to be set free and comfort them. I prayed very deeply and passionately for them and I believe they knew I was with them praying for their release.  I then saw two hands that I knew were Jesus’ and they reached down and gently touched the hands that held the dove.  The hands let go straight away and the dove flew away, beautiful and free.  There was a deep sense of peace within me and them.  I continued to pray after the picture had left my mind.

The following day we were told that Grandma had died (I feel I can call her Grandma as she made me feel like she adopted me as her granddaughter too).  At first I did not connect her with the dove as I assumed that Grandma became late on the Wednesday, but when I was told that she may have died as she went to bed the night before, I knew exactly who I had prayed for.

Grandma did not die alone, Jesus was with her and so was I, she was without pain and it was very quick, this I know. This is a very sad time but this picture has been a great comfort Becky.  I hope it is a comfort to others who knew and loved Grandma.

 

Sadly I did not know Grandma very long but it was lovely to share some special occasions, particularly our wedding and very recently 2 birthdays with her. She is a very inspiring woman, I’m not sure I have met such a passionate person for cricket!!  I would have chosen her above anyone to be on my team on a sports pub quiz! Two other passions of hers were for Jesus and for her family; she has been a great asset to both, that was plain to see. 

God bless you Grandma.

Joyce Field: 21st June 1926 - 24th July 2012

On Tuesday evening, the 24th July 2012, my wonderful Grandma left this earth and went to spend eternity with her saviour.  She was a woman who undoubtedly belonged to Jesus, and His heavenly kingdom will be all the richer now she has taken her place in it.  A friend wrote on my Facebook wall that, 'A human life is a wonderful story told by God' and in my Grandma's case, I would also add that her life told the story of her wonderful God.  I can remember sitting with her in the kitchen while she sang 'Thine be the glory' (still one of my favourite hymns), which contains these wonderful words:

Let the church with gladness, hymns of triumph sing,

For her Lord now liveth, death has lost its sting!

I have absolutely no doubt that Grandma is with Jesus and that she is now complete in Him.  Right now, the sadness of those of us left behind is great and at times feels cruel, but even in my darkest moments since I found out on Wednesday, I have felt a deep trust that all is well with her and that God is in control, even while our hearts feel shredded and bruised with loss.  It is not enough to say that I loved and continue to love my Grandma, because although I do from the bottom of my heart, that doesn't begin to describe how she inspired me with her will and determination, how she made me laugh with her wit, or how she instilled in me a deep confidence in God.

I am so blessed that I have countless happy memories of times spent with Grandma, particularly in the last couple of months, as Sarah and I visited her on her birthday and then more recently she came to my birthday party (which is where the first photograph is from).  One of my favourite 'Grandma quotes' comes from her birthday, where she was talking about the story of Adam and Eve and then declared, full of conviction, that 'the only one who came out of that sorry mess with any self-respect was the serpent, because he didn't try to blame anyone else!'  That was also the day that she allowed herself to be talked into trying a floater coffee for the first time, something which she thoroughly enjoyed (although Grandpa would have been mightily suspicious).

Grandma was co-collaborator in many of mine and my sister's schemes, from the time we locked Grandpa in the garage to the time we accidentally pulled the door in the front bedroom off its hinges.  She dutifully stood in Toys R Us, having been instructed to 'look like she knew what she was doing' on the computers (a new and exciting thing in those days!) so that I wouldn't miss my go while I was going to the loo.  We spent countless happy hours in Cannon Hill Park (and consumed a fair number of ice creams too!) and she was endlessly patient when I insisted on spending far too long in the book shop.  A trip to Toys R Us rarely ended without us having acquired a new game, and she was always ready to try it out with us when we got home (which is how Grandpa ended up as possibly the only adult in the history of the world to force a board game into injury time when he got hit on the forehead with a plastic frog).  She is also the only person I have ever known to serve 'tongue' for lunch or attempt to drive in the exit of Burger King's drive-thru.

A selection of what passes for humour in our household...!

Me: When we left the house, the dog was all curled up on the sofa like an apostrophe.
OH: Her head was separate from her body!????
Me: No... that's an exclamation mark!

Moral of the story: Never use grammatical similes when telling stories to a person with dyslexia.

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(OH screaming at computer) - "I'VE NOT GOT TIME FOR THIS I'VE GOT TO GO MAKRO!!!!"

Shame on you, Google Chrome, she's got to go Makro.

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OH: 'I d-d-d-d-ream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having its motives questioned
Me: Chickens don't stutter!
OH: Yes they do - they can't even walk without stuttering!

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Me: Shall I put it on the MasterCard?
OH: Yeah, why not, 'cause we all love MasterCard bill day WHEN WE ALL SHIT OURSELVES.

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OH: Get out the bathroom so I can have a wee
Me: Have a wee then you fetid creature from the bowels of hell
OH: There's another one for the little book of love!!

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During a play fight OH was winning...

Me: You freaking troll
OH: That's one for the little book of love!
Me: Sorry babe I didn't mean troll, I meant you're a freakishly strong dwarf!!!!

Glad we cleared that up... !!!

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Calling the cat for his dinner...

Me: Come on, Forrest Gump!

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When I was writing my psychology essay and OH noticed I was on Facebook... 

OH: So... you're looking for ideas for your psychology essay on Facebook...how teenage of you!!
Me: Whatever!!
OH: I rest my case!!

This week has, so far, been one of much productivity.  You can see at least 2/3 of the conservatory floor and there is evidence to suggest that we'll have found the rest by the end of the weekend.  It hasn't been quite as financially beneficial as when we tidied the lounge and found £8.30 in small change, but this has been outweighed by the discovery that OH owns a Lego chess set :)

We went to our first pastels class this morning and although I was getting utterly frustrated at one point, I'm relatively happy with my finished product (although infinitely aware that it is not a work of heartbreaking genius, by anybody's standards):

BREAKING NEWS:  All the tidying has unearthed a diary from 1960 that was owned by a woman called Marjorie Eatwell.  Her address is local, but her emergency contact address is - I shit you not - where we live now.  I think it's a horcrux.

In other news, we have had to buy Alfie the biggest litter tray in the world because he keeps peeing horizontally (and thus, outside the litter tray).  I have never seen anything quite so large in my life; if we ever struggle to meet the mortgage I think we could probably live in it quite comfortably.

I've spent today at Patchings Art Festival with OH and her aunts (and their friend). It's been an absolutely wonderful day and I've come back feeling rather inspired, even though my artistic ability is debatable!   Always the typical Brits, we ended up having an Eton Mess picnic in the rain at lunchtime!

Here are some of my favourites 'finds':

'The Eye of the Storm' by David Evans

'The Retreat' by Glyn Matthews

'Old Barn' by Graham Cox

'Buttercup' by Sheila Gill

Next week we're going to start a pastels class. Unsure if that'll be my cup of tea but the guy is really friendly so I'm happy to give it a try because I think it'll be fun. We've come home laden with art supplies so I'm looking forward to having a play tomorrow :)

Perfect day ended with a Chinese takeaway - naughty!

The old blog has been deleted and this is its replacement.  Welcome!

Recent events in bullet points:

• Since Alfie returned from the vet a couple of weeks ago, he appears to have adopted a 'whatcha gonna do about it, punk?' attitude which, last night, culminated in him escaping AGAIN.  God knows how, because as far as we can see there are no holes in the fence big enough for him to get through, but by the time OH found him in our neighbour's garden he was caked in an utterly comical amount of mud.  When we got up this morning he was in (almost) pristine condition, but as he's slept most of the day I'll assume it took him most of the night to achieve that!
  
  
• College is finished, which is kind of another motivation to start this blog. It's looking like the next year will be less structured than I'm used to, but there'll be plenty to do!  We're enrolling in a Journey in Faith course in the new academic year, which we're very excited about because it's running in the daytime (thus avoiding babysitter issues) AND it's at Launde Abbey, which is one of our favourite places to be.

There's a big furore today about what the Church of England has to say about the government's proposals to legalise same-sex marriage.  I've attempted to read the whole document but I'll confess to not having managed it because I found it pretty inaccessible.  I hear what they're saying about civil partnerships; that they supported them and that as they address the legal inequalities they don't see the point in pushing for same-sex marriage.  Equally, I understand the Church's point about men and women being different and having different roles.  

But on an emotional level, I still find this to be a stance that I cannot accept, because it still sets gay and lesbian Christians apart from their heterosexual counterparts and allows for committed unions between people of the same sex to be seen as 'second-rate'.

Unsurprisingly, there's been plenty of responses.  As one Guardian reporter pointed out, this statement has been made on behalf of the Church of England as a whole but has not gone before General Synod nor been discussed at a Diocesan level - so how representative is it?